Last minute fete.

Yes, please.

I love when people wink at me. You know -- those conspiratorial or innocently affectionate winks.

They make me giddy.

I wish it was not so hot in my office.

That's all I really want.

Let there be a season when no one rakes,
When all that has ever fallen can drift
with ordinary wings. Mithras, I hear you
out in the open, humming our favorite tune
through a leaf and a comb.

Lead us as if we were righteous
into the blue light of heaven
where no one will forgive anyone
just in case it's condescending,
and we will love each other
to the withered toes.

-- Carolyn Reynolds Miller
"A Turn to the Right, A Little White Light"

Hooooooo...

I need a break.

It's the time of year for prioritizing, kids.

How are YOU going to prioritize your life?

Me, I'm going to get focused on what I need to be healthy in mind, body and mmmm... maybe even spirit.

I'm just ... very unhealthy right now.
Unhealthy diet.
Unhealthy outlook.
Unhealthy obsessions.
Unhealthy social life.
Unhealthy living situation.

It's all added up to a big ball of stress, depression, anger, resentment, lethargy and disappointment. This is not where I want to be.

How am I not myself?

That's what it's all about.

So I'm gonna take a break. Prioritize. Get healthy. Be healthy. And then I'll be back to play again; the right way.

Toodles!

YAY

For Danny and Jon coming down to see me today at work! They gave me wonderful hugs in greeting AND in parting. Four hugs in all. My kingdom is theirs.

They were downtown handing out flyers for Garbero's restaurant downtown. It's on... Uh... Anyway, go to the website. Garberos.com I'd know where they were located but I gave my flyer to the resident lesbian here, since I already know all about Garbero's. Locally owned! Excellent coffee! GO THERE!

=D

I feel so comfortably numb at work.

I was having (another) bad morning. Bad, bad. But I get here and I'm immediately forced to put on a happy face and wave at the little kids; answer the phone in a pleasant tone; say hello to the parents; offer greetings and parting well-wishes.

After about an hour of my black, bleeding inside kicking and screaming to be let out of the confines of superficial nicities, it loses its battle to inevitability and I feel rather serene. Or rather, I don't quite feel at all.

It's like I've BECOME nothing but that fake smile and phone voice.

Like a little vacation from myself.



I guess I shouldn't be so dramatic. There are practical reasons why today SHOULD be a good day. A nice day. A pleasant day.

I got paid today, and it's more than I hoped for, which is always nice. Also, the nurse came in today with two cups of coffee because apparently the barista made her a regular when she wanted a decaf, and she got both of 'em. She even gave me her chocolate covered coffee beans.

...

My kingdom for a hug, though.

One Ann Coulter called my church today asking for a tour of the Child Development Center.

How's that for cooky?

You don't even wanna KNOW what cast member of MadTV is part of this congregation.

Apparently St. James was the patron saint of Cashflow.

They're going to write me a check to get me through until tomorrow.

HUZZAH.

I was supposed to get paid today.


I DON'T GET PAID UNTIL TOMORROW!






I have no way home.
EDIT: I have no money for lunch, either.

I'm drunk.

I went to Boxxes. I karaoke'd.

I SANG.

"Mona Lisa" by Nat King Cole. They didn't have "Nature Boy".

I dedicated it to Jessica, my Mona Lisa for the evening, with her broken heart.

I SANG AT KARAOKE. IS THIS REGISTERING?

I'm drunk.

* * *

(Does this qualify as a haiku or something?)

... And then Chris declared that it was "Talk Like a Pirate Day" and sent me into fits of laughter with his pirate chat.

Ugh. Depression day.

Very depressed coming to work this morning. I was late for the first time, too. Stupid traffic on i-5. Tired as HELL...

It's very difficult to be depressed here at work though. I think this place corners the market on adorable children and sweet old people. I'm doing my best to remain in a funk though. Deep down, ya know?

Depression's nice sometimes.

Ugh. I'm done with all my work. ... For now.

It's... four.

Someone prank call me.

* * *

I have a cold. My throat hurts and it's making answering the phone today rather shitty. Someone send me some cough syrup c/o St. James.

I had a GREAT weekend!


And I have NOTHING to write about it.


I mean ... It's not that this weekend didn't rock my FUCKING socks off -- because rest assured that it did...


But I refuse to write boring, sappy shit!

Quad Venti eight-pump Vanilla Latte

My day has begun.